You're okay I'm here
by birthdaycake-storytime-fall
Summary: An alternate ending to the episode on 23/04/16 when Rita's bedroom had been trashed by Mark. What if she hadn't gone home alone that morning, but had instead gone home with Iain? TW: Panic attack
**An alternate ending to the episode aired on 23/4/2016, in this Iain and Rita are an actual couple, not somewhere in between, and everyone in the ED knows about them.**

"Rita, you coming out for breakfast? It's a send-off for Jack." Iain called to his girlfriend as everyone was leaving work at the end of a particularly busy shift.

"Sure, why not?" Rita replied, winking at Iain as she approached the small group of her colleagues. Despite the fear and anxiety that Rita had been experiencing recently, especially during the shift that she had just finished, she felt as though she would benefit from relaxing and winding down with her friends.

"So, shall we go to Valerie's?" Ethan asked the group, referring to a quiet café not too far from the hospital that he often visited for breakfast or a coffee break.

The small crowd all agreed and they slowly made their way towards the café.

Rita finally felt at peace and a genuine smile lit up her face for the first time since Mark had returned to Holby once again.

* * *

Once the small group were seated in the café, Iain choosing to sit right next to Rita, they each picked up a menu and scanned the options, deciding what they all wanted to eat.

Rita decided to order a bagel with herby mushrooms and she was going to treat herself to a chocolate milkshake as well. Iain ordered a plate of fluffy pancakes, so did Cal and Jack. Ethan chose the full English breakfast to fill him up and give him energy for his Salsa class which he was attending for the first time that morning. Robyn and Louise both decided that they were going to have full American breakfasts, which the café was well-known for serving.

The small group laughed and joked with each other and it seemed that none of them had any worried or fears in the world. If you were to look through the window of that café you'd probably think that their lives were perfect and care-free.

Jack insisted on buying everyone a slice of cake of their choice as a thank you for being such good friends to him and welcoming him to the ED.

* * *

After everyone had finished their breakfasts they left the café, everyone leaving a generous tip for the kind waitress with tired eyes, and the group split up to go their separate ways.

Iain and Rita decided to both go back to Rita's house that morning, since they been spending as much time with each other as they usually did, and they had both missed each other more than either of them wanted to admit. The couple went home together, Iain occasionally kissing Rita's neck or lips as they walked.

Rita unlocked the door quickly, desperate to get inside and take Iain's shirt off. Once the pair were inside and the door was locked once more Iain hastily removed Rita's brown leather jacket painfully slowly, making Rita moan in pleasure.

Rita removed Iain's coat as his hands moved down to her waist to pull her closer to him. As their breathing became heavier Iain led Rita up the stairs towards her bedroom.

When Iain stepped backwards into the room with Rita following him he gasped in shock and her body froze.

Her bedroom had been vandalised.

All of Rita's clothes and belongings had been strewn everywhere. One thought entered her mind. Mark.

As Iain turned around his eyes expanded as he saw what Rita had seen seconds before him. The scene looked as though a bomb had hit the room, a sight Iain knew all too well.

Stepping cautiously into the room Iain's eyes flickered from one direction to another, checking to see if there was any sign that Mark was still in the room hiding somewhere, waiting for Rita. After checking five times that they were alone he turned back to Rita, who was still stood in the doorway of the room.

Rita's breathing was quick and heavy, a sign Iain instantly recognised as a panic attack, and it was the only sound filling the otherwise silent house.

Iain was quick to stand besides Rita again and he helped her sit on the floor against a wall on the landing, facing away from the bedroom.

Rita curled her body into a tight ball, buried her head in her knees, and clenched her fists like iron grips in her hair. Tears fell like waterfalls from her eyes and her body shook with the power that her cries and laboured breathing created.

Iain was afraid for Rita, both because of Mark and because of the panic attack. "Rita…Rita, it's okay, I'm here." Iain spoke calmly, but ensured that his voice was loud enough to be heard over Rita's cries. "Try not to curl up, darling." Iain attempted to uncurl Rita's body, but it was like a vice grip and he could not move her. Iain sat next to Rita and stroked her hair in an attempt to calm her down, although he wasn't convinced that he was actually helping her. "Rita, if you calm your breathing down, just a little bit, I can check the house and make sure that he isn't still here."

Rita's only response to this proposal was to violently shake her head and cry harder than before; harder than she'd ever remembered crying in her whole life.

"Rita, it's alright. I'm here." The feeble attempt to comfort Rita whilst she was in this state made Iain feel helpless, on top of the panicked feeling that he was already experiencing. Despite Iain's fears he knew that he had to stay calm for Rita and ensure that she was the priority.

"Okay, I'm going to breathe deeply and slowly. Try to follow my breathing for me." Iain's tone was still calm and soft, although he wasn't certain that Rita had actually heard him. Iain purposefully slowed his breathing in an attempt to help Rita, hoping she would at least try to copy his actions.

"In and out. In and out. In and out." Iain's strong, yet calming, voice was making Rita feel more secure in his arms as she tried to focus on only his voice. Her body relaxed slightly, although she did not move from her foetal position.

After a couple of minutes Rita's breathing was slightly slower and she relaxed her position to sit with her legs stretched out on the floor in front of her.

"Good girl, that'll make your breathing easier." Iain prised, trying to make eye contact with Rita, who still sat with her head bowed.

Continuing to breathe slowly and deeply Rita found the tension in her body ebbing away slightly, although there was still the fear that Mark had been in her house and that he may still be there.

"That's great babes, you're doing really well." Iain continued to stroke Rita's hair until she suddenly stood up and ran to the bathroom.

Iain stood up and followed Rita into the bathroom before sitting on the side of the bath next to the toilet ad he held Rita's hair out of her face whilst she threw up into the toilet over and over again.

Rita's body was thrown forward every time she threw up, so Iain moved to sit on the floor with Rita on his knee so that he was able to physically support her body as she was sick.

It was 10 minutes later when Rita had finally finished throwing up, most of it bile since she'd barely eaten since Mark had returned.

"Okay Rita. You're alright. Do you want to come downstairs with me?" Iain's voice made Rita's body visibly relax and she nodded feebly before Iain helped her stand up and supported her with his hand around her waist as the couple slowly made their way downstairs together.

Iain gently lowered Rita's fragile body onto the 3-seater sofa in her living room. "Rita, I'm just going to go and get you some water. I'll only be in the next room. I'll be one minute. I promise." Iain looked to Rita for some form of permission or approval, but she didn't move at all.

Iain slowly rose and went into the kitchen. The house was silent, until Iain ran the cold tap to fill up a glass for Rita in the hopes to make her feel at least slightly better, even if it was just getting the taste of vomit out of her mouth. Once the glass was full the house was silent once again.

When Iain sat back next to Rita he was glad to see that she took the glass from his hands because she hadn't moved once since coming downstairs.

Once Rita had finished her drink Iain took the glass from her hands and placed it on the table.

"Do you want me to check the house to make sure that he's not still here?" Iain asked quietly, hoping to get a response from his girlfriend.

Rita simply nodded her head slowly as tears ran down her pale cheeks, but she didn't say a word. Iain wasn't sure that she was going to talk for a while, so he accepted this response.

"Okay, I'll be quick, I promise." Iain didn't move for a moment, hanging back to see if Rita was going to respond to the statement, but there was nothing from the broken woman sat in front of him.

* * *

Later that night Iain and Rita were curled up in Iain's bed and Rita was trying desperately to get to sleep, but she was tossing and turning too much to be able to.

Iain had managed to get Rita to agree to him calling the police earlier on, but since Rita had deleted Mark's threatening text and he used a withheld number to call the hospital there wasn't much evidence to prove that Mark had done anything. The police were going to search Rita's room and some of her belongings for fingerprints, but that was all they said they could do with such little evidence.

Rita had been mostly silent since the panic attack at her house, although she had suffered another panic attack when she arrived at Iain's house.

"Babes, do you want to get up? You're not going to get to sleep like this." Iain sat up in bed next to Rita knowing that neither of them were likely to sleep for the next few nights. "We could watch a film."

Rita only nodded slowly, but she waited for Iain to help her out of bed before she actually moved. The couple went downstairs into the living room and Iain turned on the TV and DVD player before picking out a film for the pair to watch, knowing that Rita wouldn't contribute to making the decision since she was almost refusing to speak, unless it was necessary.

The couple stayed up all night watching Disney films, both of them unable to sleep. The fact that they had each other meant more than anything and neither of them wanted that to end, and Iain knew that he wouldn't let Mark ruin what they had.

 **I know I say this a lot, probably way too much, but I am so sorry for not updating anything in ages. With GCSE exams only 2 weeks away my mental health is pretty bad at the moment and I'm struggling with a lot of stuff with school, home, and friends. I hope to update New beginnings before my first exam, but I'm not sure whether or not it will be possible.**


End file.
